Moving to California

Hi, this site is all about California, REAL CALIFORNIAS. This site is awesome. My name is Mike and I can't stop thinking about California. This state is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1. California is a state.
2. Californians fight ALL the time.

3. The purpose of California is to flip out and cause traffic jams.

Testimonial:

California can have a traffic jam anywhere it wants! California has traffic jams ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. This state is so crazy and awesome that it flips out ALL the time. I heard that there was this Californian who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the Californian jumped into his SUV and stopped all traffic on I-10. My friend Mark said that he saw a Californian totally stop traffic just because he got bored.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that California has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or it will make you idle for hours wedged in between semis on the interstate!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

California is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. This state is totally awesome and that's a fact. California is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love California with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about California?

A: California is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand it doesn't give a crap, but on the other hand, California is very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that Californians are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, Californians can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do Californians do when they're not sitting in traffic or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent in hot tubs, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

(We just moved to California last week, and experienced first hand the bloody horror otherwise known as LA traffic on I-10 just south of downtown, between the 710 and the 405. People do this every day? Insane. But then look at us; we moved here. Humans are gluttons for punishment and physical pain.)

(See here if you don't grok the strangeness that is my first blog attempt ever. It felt appropriate.)